1. |
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I know I have a tendency to fall into this trap
But I swore to god that this time would be different from the last
I harped on you in protest
But my friends just changed the subject
‘Cause they already knew you didn’t love me back
So I woke up, and I took note of all the things I lack
God, how the fuck am I supposed to compete with that
So I forfeited, I withdrew
Now I’m so bored without you
And every single day I hope you might come back
I think I need a psychic or a psychiatrist
I just need someone to convince me that there’s something after this
To stave off my addiction
To coax out my admission
That I knew from the start you’d never love me back
Still, every day I hope you might come back
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2. |
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I swore I saw you on Main as I walked to the van alone
You could have told me that your side of town always gets this cold
The bike notes fell out of my coat
We could have sang in the streets had you shown
I met you halfway; it’s a shame that we’ll never know.
I wasted vacation days to see if maybe you’d ask me to stay
I’ll go home and I’ll pace by the phone
Surrounded by friends, finding courage in shotgunning beers
I’ll call you and curse, and I’ll slur all my words
When I finally ask you why you disappeared.
I should have pawned my guitar and broken the rainy day jars
Turned my pockets out, skipped town, and headed south
But my hands shake on interstates
And my car wouldn’t make it anyway
But if I had tried, I might not have been too late
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3. |
Getting Better
02:48
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When you're around, I tend to kick myself to the curb
I pull up my hood, and I stare at my hands 'til they blur
I hang my head, and I root myself to the ground
This raincloud won't stop following me around
I need new guitar strings and a strong drink
I really need to get some sleep
But I stay up late with bike chains rattling
And retrace my steps along this street
But this city, it haunts me
I've dug graves for all our memories
You should have been there for the eulogy
You should have been there for the eulogy
[I didn't have any lyrics written for this part yet so I just sang lines from "Mix Tape" by Brand New. I'm sorry, I did not write these lyrics (but I really wish I had). Please don't sue me]
But now I try not to cover my head in bars and basements
I'm getting better about scraping my knees on the pavement
But I still can't seem to leave without a painful souvenir
The postcards give me paper cuts, but I still wish you were here
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4. |
I Hate It Here
02:45
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I think the red lights sympathize
When I drive home late at night
They always seem to litter this deserted street
To let me hit the brakes and breathe
The house was empty, so I talked myself through
Exactly why I am in love with you
As I stirred my coffee, I smiled in the warmth
Then I remembered who you fell for
I felt my chest cave in, then I slammed the door
I cried, punched the wall, and collapsed to the floor
I've never felt this low before
I've never felt this low before
And I know if you loved me
By now, you would have said something
And I know if you loved me
By now, you would have done something
At the end of November, I stopped believing in God
While sobering up in a parking lot
I still thank the lights as I drive myself home
But I don't pray for us anymore
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5. |
Robbed
01:53
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I woke up feeling sore
After sleeping on this apartment floor
I'm surprised I slept at all
You're not here, and it's cold
We parted ways on a snowy street
You didn't even notice me leave
I walked back alone
As usual
The stars are stubborn, and they won't align
Please, I am willing to compromise
Take anything you want
I just want to feel alive
I ache everywhere; I ache all the time
I'm still young, but I've got a crumbling spine
And I realize now that these homes were never mine
They were never mine
But for now, I'll bide my time
And tell you everything is fine
And I'll feel you walk right by
As I watch the sky
As I watch the sky
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6. |
Start From Scratch
02:14
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Found an empty patch of sidewalk
Declared defeat against the bricks
Tried looking up, but found no stars
Just bound here with my wish
I'm gutted, my limbs are feeling wobbly and weak
And the only way that I can think to cope with this is sleep
It hurts to be so certain that I lost at our first glance
But if my outsides matched my insides
I might stand a fighting chance
I don't ask for much, but I'd have everything
If I could start from scratch
But if my outsides matched my insides
I might stand a fighting chance
I'm sorry I'm such lousy company
The alcohol won't help me forget a goddamn thing
I'll let it mix with disappointment
And as they're coursing through my veins
I'll keep my distance
I won't let myself burden you again
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7. |
Worry Dolls
02:31
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Worry_doll
I line the trinkets on the table in a row
Could this thread and wire save me?
Whisper fears, tuck them underneath your pillow
Will you be gone, will they be gone by the morning?
Do you only take one worry?
Or can I fill you up with dread?
Would it be selfish of me
To be relieved of the monsters in my head
While you wear my scars, cry my tears
Crush your tiny, woven heart?
But what takes it all away from you?
Do you fray and fall apart?
I'm carrying too much, I feel a shaking in my knees
I'd kill to trade these thoughts for just a little sleep
But somehow, they still find a way to seep into my dreams
When it's finally all too much
I'll hold you in my hands and scream
I'm scared I will sink into this sand
I'm scared I will never hold his hand
And I'm terrified at twenty-two
My world's forever tinted blue
Will the sparks and sounds inside my head
Be lost to math and medicine?
How could I fall so far behind?
Are these memories worth the wasted time?
These ropes are frayed beyond repair
How will I break the news that I don't care?
Will I ever have a say?
Will it ever be okay?
For now I'll hold you in my pocket
Keep you safe while I still can
But I know someday, I'll give in
And I hope you'll understand
When you wear my scars, cry my tears
Crush your tiny, woven heart
What takes it all away from you?
Do you fray and fall apart?
What takes it all away from you?
Do you fray and fall apart?
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Karen Estrella Virginia Beach, Virginia
I'm Karen. I'm a singer/songwriter from Virginia Beach, VA. I keep breaking guitar strings because I use stupid tunings. I'm also in a band called Padfoot.
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